the four right chords can make me cry

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a problem.
Sometimes I feel like my only friend is the city I live in.

Ok so those aren't exactly the words, but that's how I like to imagine them to be.
Past few days have been afflicted by low self esteem. Those of you who have never had to deal with it will probably think i'm just being stupid. But it's real to me. To have to wake up everyday and feel like you really don't like yourself. But sometimes I feel like I don't have a problem. Sometimes in the span of two minutes I can feel both really good and really bad about myself. But bad has been dominant of late.

I know I'm not being logical.

Really like to thank all those people who were so nice to me today, kept me from just giving up and crying. Bet they did'nt know it made such a difference to me, and they probably will never know. (a lot is going on beneath the surface, but at the same time, nothing at all). In order of appearance, sh, vi, da, su, an, gr, nl, y, ja, be, dw, and ch. Sorry, being this cryptic is not normally my style, but even if I mentioned names you wouldn't know who they were, and this is more for me to remember than for broadcasting, khao jai mai?

That having been said, ex-president ben whom I met at jamie's performance today is really the nicest guy ever! Such an uncle-uncle kind of niceness =) and so cool, his primary school friend was the guitarist, and he's really good! apparently plays in some jazz/blues outfit, whose name escapes me now. They played at ublues tho!!! Which gives him one million plus points in my book! And james, another one of the old uncle figures in usp (to me anyway) is soo cool too! his beard and long hair and specs! (Although serene would know that I generally find guys with facial hair kinda gross, james does it really well) And his super casual attire, I've only ever seen him in berms and t-shirts. He's a really unique individual, doesnt care what other people think he is, he's just himself. And that's cool. Only mention them cos they were the most recent ppl in my day, but today was a really busy day, past two days have been, and so filled with different people.

friday went to the PCC to volunteer, then went to school, then went to the zoo, then went home, then went to heeren for dinner with prof titima (her son speaks english, thai AND HEBREW. how cool is that?!). Today went for operation karang guni with VCF, then rushed down to school for kent ridge's hall production. This is a VERY concise summary. So much happened in these activities... but sian la, don't feel like blogging it down. heck.

posted by beckyboo @ 1:39 AM